Am i going crayze or is a mental disorder behind all of it? What is wrong with me!!!!!!?

This is been going on for months now, depresion, anger, fear, i also had a big episode of panic attac in november last year, drepression pretty much thru winter, been dignosed with ADHD but i am not so sure about it, i really tought i was loosing mi mind, including some visual allucinations,lost of reality, the thing is that drs an even my husband dont really believe me been given antidepresants but i am not sure about them, i even tought i had squizofrenia as my father suffers from it but i got told it was just my imagination, i have a cousin that is studing neurology and he mention borderline personality, and after reading got most symptoms,got most for bipolar aswell iwant to be ok,not sure what i have but this is not normal,but they think i am hipocondriac and even baned me drom internet, but i really need a solution, i can carry on angry, depresed, sad with mood swings is not fair specially for my children. So am i going crayze or is there something to it? Any suggestions